What is Mikey thinking?

God only knows.

Near cardiac arrest

I received this pleasant e-mail from my school's registrar a couple of days ago:

Dear Michael,

I am in the process of certifying students for graduation. In reviewing your schedule I see that you currently do not have enough credits to graduate. You are (4) weeks short. Before I can notify the Charles River Campus of your eligibility you need to add these final weeks. Once this has been done I will change your record so you can update your graduation information. If you are having difficulty or are planning on not graduating in May please let me know

After a temporary loss of vision, I picked myself from the floor and sent this reply:

There must be a mistake - were my resesarch credits included in the
calculation? I should have one 6-week block of research included in
there per agreement with the MD/PhD program. By my count I should be 2
weeks over the requirement.

Translation:

I spent FIVE freaking years in graduate school purgatory, and you want to quibble over: FOUR. FREAKING. WEEKS?!

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

Her reply:

Whoops.

*******

Ain't nothing stopping this train from reaching Graduation Station, BABY!!!!!

End-of-the-Interview-Trail Blues

Midway Blues
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

Interview season is over for me. In 46 days, I visited 9 different cities, traveling 9,286 miles in the process of interviewing with 13 different residency programs. I have written 18 thank-you letters, with 14 to go. My stomach has taken a beating as well, having been to 6 pre- or post-interview dinners, partaken of 13 morning carbohydrate orgies, and 13 lunches. I'm not going to reveal what my credit card bill looks like. It's time to bring this to a close. I'm cancelling my remaining interviews. Still, I have to say that it's been a fun ride while it lasted, so I end interview season with a little bit of melancholy:

• No more of that morning anxiety at the start of each interview day. That anxiety which eventually dissipates into relief and hope.
• No more meeting random, awesome, new people on the trail.
• No more tours - yeah, I really didn't pay attention, but it was one of the few times during the interview day that you didn't have to really have your game face on. Still, a parade of interviewees going about the hospital looks quite similar to a funeral procession due to the uniform (see following).
  
• No more wearing of the interviewee uniform (gray or black suit, white shirt, conservative tie, and leather binder).
• No more stripping down in airports, or having my contraband water bottle taken away and unceremoniously thrown into a large, crusty, smelly dumpster.
• No more having to smell the Brylcreem from the scalp of the passenger in front of me when he decides to lower his seat back for a nap.
• NO MORE AIRPLANE PRETZELS!
  
• No more staring in awe as my luggage miraculously follows me off the plane.
• No more krrrrrazy kab drivers!
• No more hotels and king-size beds with their heavy down comforters.
• No more playing Sudoku for hours on end on my PDA to pass the time during lengthy layovers.
  
• No more Chicago Midway Airport¹, which inadvertently became my home away from home, having visited this city three times over the last month.

Midway Dive-Bomber
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike

The worst part is being stationary for the time being, finishing out the remainder of the fourth year of medical school, not discovering someplace new...for now ². Yes, I'm going through a little bit of interview withdrawal, but truthfully, it's also kind of refreshing to keep my feet on the ground. So what now? Now, I start thinking about the residency programs I visited, and where I'd like to spend the next three years continuing with my training.

---

¹ Formerly known as Chicago Municipal Airport, which was renamed to Chicago-Midway International Airport, in honor of the Battle of Midway (June 4-7, 1942). Midway Airport was a frequent stopover for servicemen flying from the east coast to the west coast, hence the logic of naming an airport located in the frozen midwestern United States after a battle which occurred in the balmy Pacific theater.

² Now that the travel bug has bitten me again, I'm starting to toy with vacation plans for that month off between graduation and the start of residency. One option: Culinary Vacation. OooooOOOoooOOohhhhhh.

Chicago

Chicago, 7AM
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

by Carl Sandburg

Hog Butcher for the World,
Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,
Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;
Stormy, husky, brawling,
City of the Big Shoulders:
They tell me you are wicked and I believe them, for I have seen your painted women under the gas lamps luring the farm boys.
And they tell me you are crooked and I answer: Yes, it is true I have seen the gunman kill and go free to kill again.
And they tell me you are brutal and my reply is: On the faces of women and children I have seen the marks of wanton hunger.

Chicago skyscrapers
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

And having answered so I turn once more to those who sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer and say to them:
Come and show me another city with lifted head singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.
Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on job, here is a tall bold slugger set vivid against the little soft cities;
Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning as a savage pitted against the wilderness,

Chicago smokestack
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

Bareheaded,
Shoveling,
Wrecking,
Planning,
Building, breaking, rebuilding,

Under the smoke, dust all over his mouth, laughing with white teeth,
Under the terrible burden of destiny laughing as a young man laughs,
Laughing even as an ignorant fighter laughs who has never lost a battle,
Bragging and laughing that under his wrist is the pulse, and under his ribs the heart of the people, Laughing!

Chicago boxcars
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of Youth, half-naked, sweating, proud to be Hog Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, Player with Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.

Interview Trail Stop #12: Chicago, Illinois

Bird's eye Chicago, 3
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

My third visit to Chicago, the "Second City". The previous visit to Chicago had a little weirdness going on. This time, the trip gets off to a bad start - I'm flying to Chicago with a stopover in Atlanta - however, due to weather conditions, my flight is delayed. I'm scheduled to arrive in Atlanta 25 minutes prior to boarding time for the flight to Chicago. Assuming 100% efficiency by the airline, I should make it on time - the voice in the back of my head is telling me to look for other options - and I do - there's another airline with a direct flight to Chicago, only two-and-a-half hours of travel time as opposed to the five I'll be spending on the indirect option. As I debate whether to purchase the ticket, my internet connection in the airport dies. If I want to purchase that ticket, I'm going to have to cancel my reservation, ask for the return of my checked luggage, then get on a shuttle to a different terminal, and then purchase the new ticket. Again - my travel-fu stinks, so I stick with my current option. Our flight boards late - we taxi to the runway, it seems, endlessly, and we finally take off two hours late. Thankfully, I make it to Atlanta just as they're making the last call for boarding for the Chicago flight. I arrive at my hotel at one o'clock in the morning. Oy.

I head into this interview with only five hours of sleep, almost no confidence, and a raging headache.

Interview Trail Stop #11: Cleveland, Ohio

Free Cleveland!
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

My drive from Columbus to Cleveland was a pleasant one, though I was quite tired, and all I wanted was to pull over and take a quick nap. Ohio is flat - really flat - and you can't help but think of American Gothic as you drive by the acres of farmland and barns and silos. Then, a rogue hill rolls by, then two or three, and then Cleveland, affectionately known to us Pittsburghers as "The Mistake by the Lake" looms in the horizon, pops into view, the first sign being a quartet of smokestacks churning out white plumes of steam that swirl then dissipate before they attain the level of the clouds.

My impression is that Cleveland is a city like some of the others I've visited on the interview trail, with the natives describing the city as a 'well-kept secret' of the Midwest. Certainly it has some culture with a world-renowned orchestra, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and a multitude of art galleries. It has several major sports teams, a handful of large universities. The local government has repeatedly attempted to jumpstart the city's economy and culture (the photo above is that of a sculpture commissioned by the City of Cleveland). Still - the economy remains rather depressed.

Cleveland Browns Stadium, Cleveland, OH
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

I walk to the edge of Lake Erie from my hotel, and get a view of Cleveland Browns Stadium and the nearby RnRHoF. It's late afternoon, and the city seems rather dead. It's clearly winter here, but one would figure that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame would show a little life, or perhaps the nearby art institute. I walk into a nearby Galleria - reflecting downtown, it is nearly devoid of any activity. I hesitate to call Cleveland a major city - the life, I hear, seems to be in the 'burbs.

I wonder if my visit to this next residency program will also be lifeless.

Interview Trail Stop #10: Columbus, Ohio

Ohio Stadium - Columbus, OH
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

I didn't know what to expect when I arrived in Columbus. The campus is quiet, partly because The Ohio State Buckeyes got blown out by the University of Florida Gators in the BCS National Title Game, but also because it's freezing cold. Still, I feel at ease immediately when I get onto campus. For some reason, being on a college campus is comforting. Things that I found annoying before (the local college sports paraphernalia store blaring college pep songs through tinny little speakers) now give a sense of pleasant nostalgia.

I get to see an old childhood friend during my visit here, and see how his firstborn has grown. I miss the pre-interview dinner by accident, though. Thankfully, things go well during the visit to the program the following day.

Interview Trail Stop #9: Lebanon, New Hampshire

George Mills, NH - Sunapee Lake
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

Wow. This place was out there, a long two-and-a-half hour drive from Boston. Once I crossed the state line into New Hampshire, a periodic 'Moose Crossing' sign would appear on the side of the highway - if I had a nickel for each time one of those signs popped up with nary a moose in sight, I'd have...twenty cents.

You have to love nature to make the decision to live here. God knows it isn't the restaurants - the closest option once I arrived in 'town' was a 'Mexican' restaurant within walking distance from the hotel. I didn't get a peek into the kitchen, but I'm fairly sure that I would have won the 'Darkest Complexion' contest hands down. While the service was friendly, the food was...disappointing. I'll stop there.

Thank goodness my interview experience was much better.

Sunapee, NH

Sunapee, NH
Originally uploaded by ironchefmike.

A nice little brook I happened upon while driving home from Lebanon, New Hampshire. I can still hear the gurgling ripples of the stream, the rustling of the leaves, the gravel of the dirt road under my shoes, and the 'CLICK-CLACK' of the shotgun the owner is going to use to chase me off his property.

Interview Trail Stop #8: Burlington, Massachusetts

Again, no photo for this stop a mere 25 minutes outside of Boston. I suppose I could have tried a little harder, but the only images that one can conjure up when one thinks of Burlington, Massachusetts is that of mall plazas - the ones that have a Mom & Pop Donut Shop and a cheap Chinese Eatery with a really crappy sign. I get excited about Burlington the way Wayne and Garth get excited about Delaware. Still, my interview is at the same hospital where I did my gynecology rotation, which wasn't altogether unpleasant. In a half-hearted effort to stay in the general Boston area, I applied here.

One thing I'm certain of, wherever I go, is that I plan on not living too close to the program where I will be a resident, most likely for the following reasons:

1. Where there are hospitals there are ambulances. Ambulances with sirens. Sirens that wake Mikey up at night. In a profession where sleepy time is a commodity, that is an utter no-no.
2. I think I have this principle thing about living too close to where I work. I don't know why, but it probably has something to do with maintaining a healthy distance between work and whatever it is I do at home.
3. Ever notice that hospitals associated with universities usually seem to be located in the seedier parts of town?