Epiphany Symphony - III. Lardo

III. Lardo - Costruzione in pieno dei perdenti

ivory towers
erected for learning Truth
merely a façade

hidden from the light
slowed growth, decay creeps along
foundation crumbling

Imagine what the academic world would be, if they actually had to go out and do a hard sell on people to actually consider attending graduate school. I get the impression that, as in professional sports, academia doesn't have to spend a large portion of its budget on advertising - sports get an entire section of the newspaper to talk about their product, presumably for free, and they only have to hand out a couple of press passes every game, maybe put out a decent food spread for the journalists, who then create a stir for the adoring public. Support, both financial and emotional, for the local team is almost genetic, handed down from parent to child.

Similarly, the world of academia rides on the notion that Education is the be all and end all for upward mobility in today's society. They dangle the PhD carrot out there, and people come running. However, in my opinion, the PhD degree doesn't hold the same luster it once did. Perhaps due to oversaturation of the scientific community, jobs for freshly trained PhD's are harder to come by. The biotechnology industry seems to be showing signs of saturation, too, so that area hasn't been quite the haven for freshly graduated trainees. While unemployment of PhD's is relatively low, I believe that this is partially because more people are spending longer periods of time in postdoctoral positions. Before getting that first academic position, newcomers to the market are forced to take two, three, or even four postdoctoral positions - each lasting up to three years of training.

You'd think that the academic world would have the foresight to deal with the demands in the work force, but the sad truth is that, at least at BUSM, the graduate student office has precious little information about their graduates and where they end up. But no, I've discovered their philosophy. So, are you ready? It's time for..................

LESSON IN LIFE #2
(Upper Management Psychology)

There is no 'problem' as long as you never acknowledge its existence.

With this approach, the graduate student office is able to ignore such issues as:

1. Mental or emotional well-being of the graduate student.
2. Fallibility of the graduate student advisor.
   
3. Job placement of their graduate students.
4. Graduate student health insurance of a quality equivalent to their medical student counterparts.
   

Rather than worry whether their graduates are finding jobs once they leave here, they choose to blindly forge ahead, building more lab space, and thinking about taking on MORE graduate students. Why? Because the sad truth is that the graduate student is cheap labor to them. The stipend is less than the salary of a technician, the health benefits are cheaper, plus the student will probably stay around longer than the technician (I think the average turnover of a lab technician position is around 2 years). In the end, students put in their time and their effort, and they're awarded with the PhD.

But is the degree worth it any more? I've already mentioned the bleak employment opportunities awaiting these people. The department pays for graduate student tuition, I believe to be an artificial benefit. Money gets transferred from the department coffers to the medical school, which redistributes it amongst the departments - pretty much amounts to you moving coins from one pocket to the other.

How about the quality of the degree itself? Requirements for awarding a PhD in the biomedical sciences are surprisingly subjective. Some people are awarded with less work, some with more, and some are awarded the PhD just so they get out of the primary investigator's hair.

Is graduate education totally useless? I'd say no, but it definitely needs some retooling, while taking into account the job market for the graduates. Anything less is irresponsible.

Coming soon: a portrait of Hank the Surly Penguin