If it's too loud, you're too old!
Video-Game Boy is playing his techno music again. I swear his subwoofer is able to create soundwaves using my cranium. Hello??? Doctoral dissertation being written over here!
I've gained momentum working on all these thesis figures, and I've hit a snag trying to figure out this new graphing software that I have. It seems as if Video-Game Boy is celebrating this by jacking up the volume on his stereo. Jagoff. I'd wring his neck if he had one.
Last night, he tried to push the envelope by playing his stereo loud for a couple seconds at a time - my guess is he's either trying to see how far he can go before I go over there again, or perhaps it's his passive-aggressive way of flipping me the bird.
I'm going to take the high road on this. Instead of pounding on the wall that we share, or leaving a brown bag of flaming excrement in front of his door, I'm going to do something nice. I'm going to burn him a CD of Artur Rubinstein playing Chopin ballades. And the day after that I'll burn him a CD of Alicia de LaRoccha playing the works of Enrique Granados. Leave him a little note saying: "Enjoy - the ladies will LOVE this!" Not that it's worked for me. Anyway, hopefully this act of kindness will turn him into a more considerate neighbor.
Of course, I do get some satisfaction in the knowledge that he probably is getting less action than I am now (edit: I just realized that technically, this is impossible) :-( I mean, a kid that spends most of his day playing on his Playstation 2 and then taking time off from that to hang out over with his buddies at EB Games HAS to be alone, right? If not, I'm going to sink into a depression from which I'll never recover.
What I'm listening to now: Extraordinary Machine, Fiona Apple
This is an album recorded by Fiona Apple, but Sony Music, which owns the rights, has declined to release the recording to the public. Someone leaked the tracks on the internet, and Bracken alerted me to their availability. It's rather eclectic and it's hard to categorize into a single genre. I have to say that it's pretty catchy, although some tracks remind me of The Beatles' Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite. A little loopy here and there - don't know if it'll make the cut onto Mikey's Pod.
I've gained momentum working on all these thesis figures, and I've hit a snag trying to figure out this new graphing software that I have. It seems as if Video-Game Boy is celebrating this by jacking up the volume on his stereo. Jagoff. I'd wring his neck if he had one.
Last night, he tried to push the envelope by playing his stereo loud for a couple seconds at a time - my guess is he's either trying to see how far he can go before I go over there again, or perhaps it's his passive-aggressive way of flipping me the bird.
I'm going to take the high road on this. Instead of pounding on the wall that we share, or leaving a brown bag of flaming excrement in front of his door, I'm going to do something nice. I'm going to burn him a CD of Artur Rubinstein playing Chopin ballades. And the day after that I'll burn him a CD of Alicia de LaRoccha playing the works of Enrique Granados. Leave him a little note saying: "Enjoy - the ladies will LOVE this!" Not that it's worked for me. Anyway, hopefully this act of kindness will turn him into a more considerate neighbor.
Of course, I do get some satisfaction in the knowledge that he probably is getting less action than I am now (edit: I just realized that technically, this is impossible) :-( I mean, a kid that spends most of his day playing on his Playstation 2 and then taking time off from that to hang out over with his buddies at EB Games HAS to be alone, right? If not, I'm going to sink into a depression from which I'll never recover.
*******
What I'm listening to now: Extraordinary Machine, Fiona Apple
This is an album recorded by Fiona Apple, but Sony Music, which owns the rights, has declined to release the recording to the public. Someone leaked the tracks on the internet, and Bracken alerted me to their availability. It's rather eclectic and it's hard to categorize into a single genre. I have to say that it's pretty catchy, although some tracks remind me of The Beatles' Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite. A little loopy here and there - don't know if it'll make the cut onto Mikey's Pod.
posted by Mikey at 8:02 PM
22 Comments:
Perhaps VGB's neighbor on the other side (and possibly above and below) might be willing to join you in convincing him to be more neighborly. I realize your condo association is huge, but there must be something they can do. Not that you have time to be organizing people or anything.
And here's this handy bit of advice from the Brookline Police FAQ:
HOW TO REPORT NON-EMERGENCY SITUTATIONS:
Call the Police Department's Business Line: 730-2222
EXAMPLE:
It is 2:30 am and there is loud music in your neighborhood. It is obvious that there is a party going on, and you need your sleep. This would not be considered an emergency situation.
Calling the police department's business line would be appropriate.
GET BACK TO WRITING! If I see one more blog entry about noise guy or writer's block, I WILL call you and bore you with the mundane details of my life. And then you'll really be sorry . . . .
Jocelyn
All RIGHT! See, I'm not crazy for suggesting the thin blue line be drawn for Mr. PS2. Right on, Jocelyn.
In lieu of five-oh, I'm not sure how successful your classical music generosity stratagem is going to be. But I don't know - maybe CDs could do the trick. If you sharpen the edges and throw them.
BTW, I feel your pain (in a duller more thumping way) since my upstairs neighbor just got a new subwoofer yesterday. He had to go three places to find it because he just couldn't find one with a low enough register in the first two. Fortunately, for me, I control the fuse boxes for the entire house. It's no contest. ;) My '05 death metal fighting style will defeat his 80's punk rock technique. Ha HA ha!
NOW GET BACK TO WORK!
I've settled on a final solution: Kinjo. Next time he wakes me up with his techno, I'm calling Kinjo - imagine the rage of being woken up at 3AM for no good reason. Once Kinjo gets here, and after he's done bending my body in half, he'll still have plenty of energy left to tear down VGB's door with his teeth, and then rip VGB's 80-pound body into shreds.
You'll both be happy to know that I found my muse sometime after I posted this entry, and I went on a tear - I forgot to eat, and before I knew it, it was like 4AM. I'll prove it with graphs and everything!
You know, this whole situation has come to a regrettable point, a point at which there is one, and only one solution, and I think you know what I'm referring to. That's right: Attack Badgers. He'll never know what hit him. And it can never be traced back to you...it will just look like a wild badger attack. I mean, badgers attack all the time in Boston, right!? Especially inside apartment buildings. This plan is absolutely FLAWLESS.
Attack Badgers = BRILLIANT
Hopefully they get along with penguins...
Maybe that's how the dead possum got in my yard yesterday. Badger attack! Oh there's nothing like burying a dead steriod-freak rat in my backyard after a glass of limoncello and three beers. Of course, my wife and friends, Jenn and Gene, just watched while I, in sandals, constructed the funerary pit for rotting Mr. Possum.
You're right, kinjo. That's clearly the only possility...malicious Badgers left the posssum there as some sort of warning. Maybe they're telling you in advance the VGB is their territory...Watch your back.
It's like the badgers are re-enacting a scene from 'The Godfather.'
"Stay away from our side of town - or you'll be sleeping with the possums. The dead ones."
They can make all the threats they want, but I don't need no stinkin' badgers!
wow, seriously, this is hysterical. badgers, I've been in the south so long I couldn't even tell you what a badger looks like anymore without looking it up. best idea you guys have come up with to date! why hasn't the world heard of y'all yet. definately need an agent...what's your booking fee?
ciao funny guys
kat
I can't speak for Dave or Kinjo, but I come pretty cheap.
You get what you pay for....
I can't speak for Dave or Kinjo, but I come pretty cheap.
Ooh baby, rowwwrwrrr!
THAT? is funny!
dave, p.s. there will be no molesting of animals, no figuring out HOW to molest animals...it's just not going to happen lol. now, Ican't speak for kinjo, here, but I am definately not researching anything along those lines.
halla(said really fast, that's how we white girls say it in the south anyway, usually makin a funnny crossed-eyed sort of face)...it's funny in real life...I think.
ciao yawl
kat
'Halla'? I think you need to post an audioblog so us Yanks can figure out exactly what you're saying.
not sure how you post ona those, but I'm sure gerin figure it out sumhowe. it's easy, when you say halla that fast it kinda sounds like hella? but ya gotta be quick na, ain no slow drawl on that wun, no.
gotta run - jr high cyo tonigh or prep school, aw geeze I can't keep track of it all.
kat
I, opposed to Mikey, do not come cheap. In fact, just by reading my commentary, you have agreed to enter a payment contract that will take years to pay off. The good thing is that, right now, I am offering 12 months no interest. My lawyers will be in touch.
No molesting of animals!!! I'm so disappointed. And I can honestly and truthfully say I've never heard anyone say "halla" in Raleigh...but it makes me think of Valhalla. Go go Norse!
I can't speak for kinjo, here, but I am definately not researching anything along those lines.
Oh, come one Kat. Not even if I use sexy badger voice again? Rowwwwrrr! Mrowlllrrrr! Grawk! Sorry. Got a little furball caught in my throat that last time.
My lawyers will be in touch.
Ease up there chief. Nobody wants a lawyer participating in this conversation.
Hmmm, to me, halla sounds like challa...
Mmmmm...a slice of challa with just a little butter...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ease up there chief. Nobody wants a lawyer participating in this conversation.
Too late!
Doh! >XO
Yeah, you're right, we don't want them around. Lawyers are weird. And they smell. Oh, um..and..um, they are cool people. But only ones named Kinjo. Or avatared Kinjo anyway.
Post a Comment
<< Home