Equipment Failure
As the ranking lackey in the lab, one of my duties is to make sure all lab instrumentation is working up to speed. Recently I've been plagued by failures of various lab devices.
9.8.04 - 9.10.04: Thermo Electron Controlled Environment (colloq. incubator)
The incubator fails to display the correct carbon dioxide levels. I called the company for service 6 months ago, but, unfortunately, they only have two people servicing the entire New England and Atlantic States region. So, that leaves the servicing to me. These cells don't have a chance.
9.16.04: Stratagene Mx3000P Real-Time Polymerase Chain Reaction System (colloq. QPCR) and a PC running Microsoft Windows XP Professional Edition
Somewhere along the line (exactly 42 seconds before the end of the experiment) communications between the QPCR and the PC fail.
Cause: still unknown. So far, we've checked the network connection, cleaned out all temporary internet files, and looked for spyware, but nothing has turned up. I'm pretty sure this is somehow Bill Gates' fault.
9.15.04: Graduate advisor communication delay system (colloq. iPod)
This instrument saves the graduate student from unnecessary distractions such as annoying technicians, the air conditioning duct overhead that threatens to rattle the building down to the ground, and the country music that one of the other graduate students is playing two bays down.
Most importantly, it saves the user from the dullardry of the advisor. For example, I was treated to this gem just the other day:
Advisor: "Guess what?! They're forming a Boston Chromatin Club!!! We should register!"
Mikey (somehow containing his excitement): "Get out!"
Advisor: "No, really!"
Mikey: "No, really. Get out. Like I want to join this Übergeek Support Group. I'm trying to work here."
To avoid these discussions, the iPod is an absolute necessity. Unfortunately, earlier this week the equipment failed. Nothing that requires service from Apple, mind you - I suppose it's really a failure in the aforementioned advisor to recognize said equipment.
Honestly. The earbuds that I've driven into my ear canals with a 10-pound mallet should be enough of a signal that I'm too busy to listen to whatever anyone has to say. There are only three scenarios that are appropriate for interruption of iPod operation by the advisor. They are the following:
9.8.04 - 9.10.04: Thermo Electron Controlled Environment (colloq. incubator)
The incubator fails to display the correct carbon dioxide levels. I called the company for service 6 months ago, but, unfortunately, they only have two people servicing the entire New England and Atlantic States region. So, that leaves the servicing to me. These cells don't have a chance.
9.16.04: Stratagene Mx3000P Real-Time Polymerase Chain Reaction System (colloq. QPCR) and a PC running Microsoft Windows XP Professional Edition
Somewhere along the line (exactly 42 seconds before the end of the experiment) communications between the QPCR and the PC fail.
Cause: still unknown. So far, we've checked the network connection, cleaned out all temporary internet files, and looked for spyware, but nothing has turned up. I'm pretty sure this is somehow Bill Gates' fault.
9.15.04: Graduate advisor communication delay system (colloq. iPod)
This instrument saves the graduate student from unnecessary distractions such as annoying technicians, the air conditioning duct overhead that threatens to rattle the building down to the ground, and the country music that one of the other graduate students is playing two bays down.
Most importantly, it saves the user from the dullardry of the advisor. For example, I was treated to this gem just the other day:
Advisor: "Guess what?! They're forming a Boston Chromatin Club!!! We should register!"
Mikey (somehow containing his excitement): "Get out!"
Advisor: "No, really!"
Mikey: "No, really. Get out. Like I want to join this Übergeek Support Group. I'm trying to work here."
To avoid these discussions, the iPod is an absolute necessity. Unfortunately, earlier this week the equipment failed. Nothing that requires service from Apple, mind you - I suppose it's really a failure in the aforementioned advisor to recognize said equipment.
Honestly. The earbuds that I've driven into my ear canals with a 10-pound mallet should be enough of a signal that I'm too busy to listen to whatever anyone has to say. There are only three scenarios that are appropriate for interruption of iPod operation by the advisor. They are the following:
- The building is on fire.
- Hey, want lunch? My treat.
- Guess what?! You're graduating today! Get out and never come back to the lab!
posted by Mikey at 10:50 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home