What's your type?
I'm leaking this highly secret medical tool to you, the public, because, well, I think it's pretty self-explanatory. Having trouble getting the point across? Problems describing the quality of that ritual performed on the porcelain altar? Well, I'm here to help - some British colleagues of ours decided, To Hell with it, we need some standards! So, to help patients describe their poop, they came up with the "Bristol Stool Scale."
Just so you know, Types 3 and 4 are generally considered normal, although some website out there also said that Type 5's could be okay, too. Personally, I'm not sure about that. The rest of them, well, there's definitely something else going on.
Anyway, I think it's apparent that your water cooler converations are going to be so much easier from now on.
Before:
Stan: Hey, Bob, how's it going?
Bob: Well, Stan - could be better.
Stan: How so?
Bob: Well, I'm having a tough time describing what's going on...
Stan: Say no more. They got these nice little blue pills now...
Bob: No, you got it all wrong...
Stan: Hey, guy, it happens to everyone!
Bob: Nonono - I'm talking about something completely different.
Stan: ???
After:
Stan: Hey, Bob, how's life?
Bob: Could be better, this past week it's all been Type 4's. I'd been passing some AWESOME Type 3's last month, but I'm just out of sorts right now.
Stan: Aw, jeez, man. Are you getting enough fiber lately?
You see? Nice, easy, streamlined descriptions that help grease the passage of conversation. Now go forth and educate the rest of the world. You can thank me (and the Bristol guys) later.
Just so you know, Types 3 and 4 are generally considered normal, although some website out there also said that Type 5's could be okay, too. Personally, I'm not sure about that. The rest of them, well, there's definitely something else going on.
Anyway, I think it's apparent that your water cooler converations are going to be so much easier from now on.
Before:
Stan: Hey, Bob, how's it going?
Bob: Well, Stan - could be better.
Stan: How so?
Bob: Well, I'm having a tough time describing what's going on...
Stan: Say no more. They got these nice little blue pills now...
Bob: No, you got it all wrong...
Stan: Hey, guy, it happens to everyone!
Bob: Nonono - I'm talking about something completely different.
Stan: ???
After:
Stan: Hey, Bob, how's life?
Bob: Could be better, this past week it's all been Type 4's. I'd been passing some AWESOME Type 3's last month, but I'm just out of sorts right now.
Stan: Aw, jeez, man. Are you getting enough fiber lately?
You see? Nice, easy, streamlined descriptions that help grease the passage of conversation. Now go forth and educate the rest of the world. You can thank me (and the Bristol guys) later.
posted by Mikey at 9:43 PM
7 Comments:
So, you're saying the Bristol Stool Scale is a relatively numocdm invention? Not some relic of that time, a couple hundred years ago or so, when excretions were the key to medical diagnoses?
I don't think the Bristol Stool Scale is a particularly new development in diagnosis. While I'm sure there have been theses in the past on stool quality and quantity and texture and I'm sure quite a few starving artists made a couple pennies in illustrating such things, the Bristol Stool Scale is the more modern equivalent for physicians, particuarly gastoenterologists, to use when inquiring about a patient's BM's.
And now with the magic of color copiers and the internet now such information can be flung to the masses.
bcgfwfs
This topic is very close to my heart (fart?) these days. *sigh*
I think I'm finally approaching some degree of normalcy following my travels. Nothing like the adventure of going from types 6 and 7 to types 1 and 2....
It's SO good to be home. LOL
svbftbs (for some reason this one seems appropriate!)
But why do they compare these poops to sausages instead calling them "tubes" or some other non-food-type word?
Dance: Hope you feel better soon. I imagine the more familiar water closet facilities back home should help you somewhat.
Lia: I'm with you there. I thought they should go with commercial chocolates or other foods, but then I would imagine that might start a whole slew of lawsuits.
Anyway, here's what I think:
Type 1: Raisinets. Or big ones would be referred to as Whoppers.
Type 2: Looks like chocolate covered peanuts to me.
Type 3: Looks like an elongated Almond Joy.
Type 4: Toughie. Maybe a brown banana slug. I can't imagine any food that really looks like that, nor can I imagine anyone eating anything that looked remotely like that. Especially sausage.
Type 5: mini-burgers?
Type 6: Beef jerky
Type 7: Natural peanut butter
wow...look at the time! I gotta go to lunch...
:)
every time i poot type 7 comes out :( it's getting a little embarrassing and let's just say that no one should have to buy this many pairs of new underwear on a daily basis. PLEASE HELP!!!
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