My Room in Middletown

I have a nice cozy room across from the hospital in Middletown, Connecticut. I had no idea what to expect, whether the room would be a cold space with a cracked linoleum floor and walls covered with layers upon layers of that white dorm room paint, slathered on every time tenants change. Was it a room in a suite? Or a college dorm situation where I share a bathroom with the floor? When I arrived in Middletown, a hospital security guard walked me over to the house - the first floor of which is some hospital employee credit union. The second floor has three rooms plus a bathroom. When we finally found a way to turn on the lights, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my room was indeed cozy.

In addition, the decorations gave it that nice 'homey' feel. In the next picture, notice the nice scallop shell and vase of now-scentless potpourri on top of the desk that's way too small for one to accomplish any serious studying, which is next to the college dorm-sized refrigerator. Not only did the previous tenant leave me a pile of Splenda sweetener packets for my use, but also left behind a full bottle of Heinz ketchup (I'll use no other ketchup as a condiment, thank you) and a half-full gallon of water. Now that's fancy living. I have to admit that the gallon of water left me a bit puzzled on the first night, but after a day-and-a-half of no access to water that did not come out of a bathroom faucet, I appreciate the idea from the last tenant.

What you don't see in these pictures are a nice comfy chair (my preferred mode of Monty Pythonesque torture) and the television with free cable. Alas, no internet access from here, and no wireless hotspots that my laptop can detect. The television was quite the distraction the first several evenings, so I think I'll be doing my reading in the hospital library. What the TV is GREAT for is this: Most days I don't have to be anywhere until 9am. So I can get a light breakfast and sit in my room watching reruns of 'The Lost World' and 'Angel.' Nope - doesn't get better than that.

Of course, there was one warning posted in the room:

...and I think to myself: "Bwahahahahahaha!" but then remember that the cost of such mischievous acts would be a freezing room and really cold showers.

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What I'm listening to now: Café del Mar (Volume Six)

A Medical View of Body Piercing

A medical view of body piercing*, including a theoretical origin of the Prince Albert. Now I don't have to ask: "Why, God, why????"

There's an interesting section near the end regarding implications of body piercings in the setting of emergency medical treatment. I'm not sure I believe the one about metal piercings diverting electrical current (from defibrillators) - unless the patient happens to be a walking metal shop, I'm thinking that's a myth waiting to be busted.

Otherwise, I think body piercings are pretty safe. Just keep them clean to prevent infection, and avoid really really big magnets.

* Requires login, which is free. They don't spam.

Merry Christmas!

Stay safe during the holidays.

Conn Man

A note to future third-year medical students: If you don't feel like being placed in the middle of nowhere for a clerkship, do NOT tell the school that you have a car.

My Family Medicine clerkship begins this week, and the program has assigned me to Middletown, Connecticut for six weeks, at a Family Medicine Residency Program. I'm kind of excited about it, actually. I'm all about diversity in one's experiences, so seeing how things are done at a different hospital system should be quite educational. Besides, I expect that the population of suburban Connecticut can be quite diverse. Right? Right???

I'll have my camera in tow so hopefully I can post some pictures of the local flora and fauna of this remote part of the country.

Inheritance

I finished the Internal Medicine clerkship last week. I think I liked it. There are certainly parts of the clerkship I clearly enjoyed - direct patient contact, every day learning something new, long days that would go by quickly because we were usually too busy to watch the clock. There were some unpleasantries, too - not having time to study, the constant pressure of being evaluated, feeling clueless most of the time. Always in the back of your mind is the fact that your performance will affect where you'll end up in residency. You do well, and you get your pick of the lot; perform less than adequately, and you end up matching at Bubba's Walk-In Medical Clinic in Bupkus, Nowhere.

I'm fairly certain that Medicine will be one of my final choices when it comes time to apply for residencies. The thing is, I'm not sure I absolutely love it, nor am I sure that I'll experience anything that's going to make me say: "This is it. Such-and-such-medicine is what I was always meant to do." Perhaps I'm waffling.

I think the source of my uncertainty arises from at least two things:

1) Somehow, somewhere, the idea entered my head that becoming a doctor was the key to happiness in life. Getting that MD degree would all of a sudden make everything better - those painful high school nerd years, getting the girl, clearing up my acne, finally making my parents happy. I wonder how much influence my parents had in planting that feeling in my head. Would they be as happy if I had chosen to be anything else like a lab technician or writer or musician or starving artist? My parents always answer 'Yes' but it's hard to believe based on the way they reacted to my sisters' career choices. Besides, they only started answering in the affirmative after the fact that I had gotten admitted into medical school.

My parents have been quite giddy ever since I've finished graduate school and returned to the medical school curriculum with the end in sight. Frankly, I find it quite annoying - the NERVE of them to be so happy when I'm stressing out, feeling like a fish out of water, which brings us to...

2) I frequently lapse into periods of severe self-doubt about myself, especially when I have one of those dreaded 'bad days' in medicine. It doesn't take much to have a 'bad day' when you're a third-year medical student - one day your oral presentations might be off, or you don't answer a single question correctly. When that happens, for some reason, my thoughts just go into this downward spiral of negativity - I hate my stupidity hate my ignorance hate my weight yo-yo-ing up and down hate being alone hate being dull and boring hate hate hate my mediocrity which I'm sure I broadcast in big neon lights to everyone around me. I feel like an impostor here, feeling like I barely made it through grad school, that they let me finish out of exasperation or charity. I hate that I think like this.

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What I'm listening to now: Koyaanisqatsi, Philip Glass