The Truth Exposed

Well, it's finally happened.

My last night on Obstetrics call, I was working on the Midwife service. This particular midwife was adamant that I be at her elbow the entire night, and continued to pimp me at every turn. If I ever got a question wrong, she would berate me at length, even in front of the patients and other members of the staff. When at last I stood up for myself, she then went on for it seems like forever about professional conduct and that I had already been labeled by other people as having an attitude problem.

To that, I say: FINALLY!

I've put on this charade for the last year, and not until the OB/GYN clerkship, has someone been able to catch on. That calm, soft-spoken demeanor? Total sham. The semblance of being a team player? Absolute fakery. Asking for more work to make the interns' lives just a little bit more tolerable? I was lying through my teeth. That smooth, easy rapport with patients? That wry grin was actually a hint of my intolerance and hatred for them. But at last, the OB/GYN people have seen through all this and finally put me on notice.

I knew of my reputation when I walked into the clerkship coordinator's office for my midterm evaluation. I was armed with my own little mental soapbox soliloquy, which went something like this:

An attitude problem? Really? Moi? Amazing! Because all I know how to do, really, is offer my services as best I can, to be most helpful to the team as they see fit. But through all of that, they see some sort of issue with my behavior? I've managed to go through six other medical rotations, and only now, has any problem with my attitude ever been mentioned. And if it is indeed true - my attitude problem, that is - then the following two realities must also be true:

1. That I've been able to conceal my true nature from numerous other physicians - general internists, pediatricians, surgeons, and psychiatrists included - who pride themselves on their skills as objective observers, and
2. It finally took the environment of Obstetrics and Gynecology for my real personality to come out into the light.

So...what do you think it is about OB/GYN that caused this individual (who sits calmly before you) to crack?

I rehearsed this passage in my head and amended it over and over until I walked into the coordinator's office. I sat down and waited for the shoe to drop, at which point she told me everything was fine, the team liked working with me, and they appreciated me helping the third year students out. "Keep it up, you're doing great," she said. And that was it.

And I sulked out of her office, a little sad that my rant will go unheard, and greatly puzzled by the mystery attitude problem that doesn't seem to be.